Fuck Friend

The 8 Fuck friend rules    

The brand new phenomenon

"Fuck friend", "Sex friend", "Sex buddy" names vary, but in the end it all refers to same idea :

(A friendly relationship, simple, WITHOUT feelings and WITH sex.)

Contract

1. Rule n°1: "No sleeping over -- unless the "act" was very good and we need to repeat it in the morning."

   I would keep the first part and nix the second. My friends and I go back and forth about morning sex. Some love it, some don't. Personally, I'd rather just stay up all night, and if it's lights out when we're done, so be it. We can take a campus poll, though, and see what floats the Hopkins boat. But, really, if it wasn't good enough to stay up for, why wake-up for it?

2. Rule n°2: "No meeting in public, except for drinks before the events of the evening." This goes back to the booty call being about fun. Being seen together will inevitably raise the question, "are you together?" Neither of you want to deal with this. If either of you wanted a boyfriend or girlfriend, the call in the middle of the night would have been made at least 12 hours earlier, and the night would probably have involved something along the lines of dinner and a movie. Hopkins is a place where little is sacred, and even less is secret. Grabbing some drinks beforehand -- which can facilitate the night -- is really the limit.



3. Rule Three: "No calls before 9 p.m. We don't have anything to talk about."

   I think this one is self-explanatory. For further commentary, see rule number two.

4. Rule Four: "None of that "lovemaking' stuff. Only SEX allowed."

   Yes, I'll make it official: girls can be as horny as guys. An unattached run-in with another person with needs to be fulfilled is the perfect time to try things that seem too gruff to fit under the term "lovemaking."

5. Rule Five: "No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Was I better than your ex? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask."

   Conversation should be like the sex: stress free. Topics like the meaning of life or your stress over exams are what we call downers and mood-killers. Keep those conversations to the academic advising office. Those people are being paid to listen to your moans. On the contrary, the person you're in bed with isn't ... and doesn't care!

6. Rule Six: "No calling each other "friends with privileges.' We are not friends, just Fuck buddies."

   This is to preserve anonymity. A "friend with privileges" you speak to, talk about, see, and the like. A sex buddy might have a first name and definitely no identifying marks (and no, I don't care about the shape of his birthmarks). If someone's name is uncommon then I'd refrain from mentioning it. That person might have been a random hookup to you, but maybe not to your friend, waiter or eavesdropping neighbor at the next table.

7. Rule Seven: "No glove, no love. Go home."

   Really, don't make me explain this one. More so than with anyone else, a fuck friend is always complemented by a condom. Period.

8. Rule Eight: "No falling asleep right after sex. It's over, so get up, get dressed and go home."

   Also covered under this clause is being able to skip the cuddling, prolonged make-out sessions (both to taste, of course) and resigning to the fact you don't have to call the other person the next day.

Welcome to Fuck-Friend.co.uk 

- A fuckfriend is a lady friend with whom you have sex when you feel like it.

- For you ladies, a fuckfriend, it's the benefit to have nothing to get worked up about.

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